A Conversation With An Extrovert

So I want to recount a conversation I had just now that shows the frustration introverts like me have with certain kinds of entitled extroverts, and why being around them feels like being held down and circle-jerked repeatedly. Names have been changed to protect certain parties.

Bob: I tell my friends to smile if they’re down. Guy or girl. Doesn’t matter to me. Maybe I’m the minority though.

Gloria: lol

Vox:  Yea Bob would be the guy I would duodenum punch. That would probably make me feel better.

Bob: Who are you? And I wouldn’t go up to a random person and tell them to smile. That’s rude. I only do it to my friends and I usually try to do something stupid to make them laugh as well. Such as a jig or a funny face.

Gloria: Yes i think we should punch Ian in the duodemnum =p

Vox: If it was my friend I would ask them what happened. I don’t need someone to smile for me because their unhappiness makes me uncomfortable.
Bob: It’s not about me feeling uncomfortable. It’s about trying to make someone feel better and see the positive side of things and giving a friend something to smile about. Even if that’s my stupidity and to help them forget the reasons they are not smiling for even a minute.
Vox: Yea, that doesn’t work. Humans evolved smiling to communicate, its only function is to tell other people everything is okay. (alternately that they’re hungry and want to eat you.) Being positive is just social dynamics, it doesn’t make anyone feel better to tell you they feel better.
Bob: If you want to go out and be depressed and upset then get annoyed at your friends that try to help and make you feel better than be my guest. you wont have those friends for long. I’m more than willing to listen, communicate and to offer advice as wellas trying to make someone smile. If your warped sense of humor and happiness are any indication. You are a very sad person. I’m sorry for that. I wish I could help. I don’t know you very well but from these answers you’re giving me it sounds like you’d rather stay at home most nights and enjoy a glass of wine to yourself and watch netflix. That’s ok. But there is no reason to get annoyed at your friend for trying to help and to cheer you up in any situation. Especially when you’re out with said person. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work but don’t get annoyed for them trying. It shows they care about you. 
Vox: No, it shows they’re selfish and only thinking about their own position in the group dynamic. I don’t have many friends, but the ones I have aren’t superficial shells of people who serve only as cogs in the meat grinder of humanity. Your problem is you “try” to make people feel better and stop when they smile and tell you you did a good job. In the words of Yoda, “Do. Or Do Not. There is NO TRY.”
At this point Bob devolved into Ad-hom attacks. Draw what conclusion you will.

UPDATES: Now with Closure:

Bob: Have you ever met people? Do you understand how others work? It sounds like you’re the selfish one here. Passing judgement on those who choose to “TRY” things. You think I’m just some sort of superficial person when I absolutely despise the idea of superficiality. That saying does not apply in this situation. Yoda was a smart being but I’m not just going to stand idly by while my friend is in pain around me. If you will then that’s your problem but I will not. So I TRY different things to help them. Sometimes that thing is to just sit and let them vent and listen. No advice, no laughing, no smiling just listening. So where you’re getting off trying to say that we serve as cogs in the meat grinder that is humanity is degrading to humanity and to the people you’re talking about including your friends who most of the time would be there for you in any situation. Maybe not trying to make you smile but they would be there for you. Don’t try to downplay my methods because they aren’t yours.

Vox:  I’m an INTJ. Being judgmental is part of who I am as an analytical person. That says nothing about whether I’m selfish or not. It’s like looking at an apple and going “Yep, that’s an apple.” While you’re trying to convince it to be an orange. Because you want a mimosa, I don’t know. Freaking Wino.

Frankly, how can anyone vent with someone breathing down their neck to FEEL BETTER! IMMDIATELY!! I wouldn’t trust that person. I wouldn’t tell them the truth. Nor would it help. Your opening gambit just sucks.

Bob: My ESFJ personality usually makes me want to be an entertainer. I just try to utilize my strengths.

Vox:  I would open with the clown bit. That’s not a demand for something, that’s just you being a dumbass. And everyone enjoys that. 

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